A Good Time at Wal-Mart

Typically, I don't like going to Wal-Mart after church. In fact it mostly makes me cranky, however yesterday was an exception. Don't get me wrong I was feeling pretty cranky about it from the get-go but after dropping the MRS. Off at the door and circling around the edge of the lot to find a nice wide open space at the back of the lot where I could see both entrances I spotted something wonderful streak past the corner of my eye. And then I heard my joyful 3 year old's laughter. A shopping cart was racing through the lot. It was as if it were being powered by an unseen teenager pumping his leg riding it as if it were a skateboard. Alas there was no person powering this cart it was the wind, and it was whipping! As I rounded the corner of the lot we witnessed a gray cart travelling at full speed slam (yes slam) into the back of a read Chevy Silverado. The impact was enough to rock the truck forward and back, as if it had just lighted in the stop and the brakes were stopping its forward momentum and settling it back into its parking spot. When I finally found a safe parking spot, protected by an oval curve it became clear that this was not a case of one rogue cart making its way into the bumper of a pickup. Ladies and Gentlemen we had ourselves a veritable county fair of carts making their way south to north propelled by the wind and the occasional disgruntled patron who just had his car smashed into. Over the next half an hour we saw at least half a dozen cars get massacred. The worst was a nice shiny red Camero that was repeatedly raked down the side, until a tall sleeping looking man emerged from the driver's side and gave the carts that had collected next to his "sweet ride" a manly but clearly peeved heave toward the far north edge of the lot where over a dozen of these mechanical beasts of burden had gone to die.

We watched each potential break away cart with great anticipation hoping a gust we coming along at just the right time. It was so windy that even carts that had been properly "corralled" were making a fast break for the nearest shiny expensive SUV. Funny, none of the junky cars got hit. We greeted each collision with loud hoops and jeers, delighting in the speed and whimsy that the carts would generate after a few seconds on the loose. It was kind of like a mix between WWF and America Funniest Home Videos. It was a good time.